how do YOU define board drama?

[basschick]

i've been thinking about this a lot. i'd say that board drama is when someone posts in order to create a large emotional impact rather than just to impart information. i think that board drama posters tends to make assumptions or uses abusive language because the poster is angry rather than because he/she believes what they're saying.

for example, rather than saying "did anyone else miss the last 2 checks from sponsor XYZ?" a person might post "sponsor XYZ is ripping me off!" before finding out why their checks didn't come. i've seen this one on boards a few times where it turned out the poster had the wrong zip code in their info or similar issues and wasn't getting the sponsor's email due to spam blockers.

or how about someone who says that a rep dissed them because they didn't like gay men when it turns out that the rep simply didn't like them personally or there was a misunderstanding or the rep had a poor grasp of english.

or insulting someone on a personal level because you disagree with them rather than simply disagreeing with them. i'd say this is standard board drama, and it's also silly because no one is going to listen to someone who just called them a stupid cocksucker, so you're a lot less likely to change someone's point of view once you've insulted them.

thoughts?

[gaydemon]

Very well put!

Unfortunately sometimes i think people are just fucked up. Thats not a scientific term.. but sums it up well.

Some people (more and more in society now) are "angry".

They carry around feelings inside of them that they do not know how to handle, and can't control. It comes out as hate, rage and anger whenever there is an oppertunity. They seek confrontation for the sake of confrontation, its an outlet for the feelings they have.

They feed on on confrontation, because they can not deal with their own feelings so they need outlets for it, someone to transfer it to. IE drama on boards for example, or anywhere else they are in contact with people.

Instead of dealing with their own problems they cause drama and offend people, leaving others to deal with their problems.

I'm sure often the same "drama" people we see on boards are people who are damaged in some way, been abused or abuse, difficult upbringing etc.

Errr... I lost track. Whats board drama - to me its people who can not deal with their own feelings and take out on others instead.

[Gaystoryman]

This is interesting, because some will see an 'issue' as being drama while others might perceive it to be a spirited defence of a position, or stand. It is subjective in many ways, but for myself, 'board drama' is when one 'appears' to deliberately inflame others by use of various 'trigger' words, to create a 'hostile' atmosphere or to generate a climate of 'fear' rather than discussion. It is also a tactic to simply garner attention, or to promote feelings of hate.

It is comments which many will excuse as being done in the 'heat of the moment' but frankly, I think it is simply just that, an excuse, to explain bad behavior, to rationalize the sense of hate, of disdain, that the creator of it has been called on.

Board drama, to me, is simply someone attempting to use distasteful, abusive, & nasty means to push forth their own ideas, to discourage debate, to discourage differences that don't meet their perspective. In my mind, it is arrogance, and generally racist in some form or other. It isn't about discussing the issue, but about deflecting the conversation away from the issue.

my 2 cents

[BelAmiAlan]

Board drama to me is people going up and back via the board on an issue and at times becoming personal too. Why not message on ICQ rather than 4 post's up and back. If we were to talk about the Arab - Israeli conflict (please don't) there would be people taking sides and fighting for them. The same goes for the topics of our industry. I choose to keep this place sacred to listen, learn, and share with my peers in the industry. There you go, my 69 days in the industry experience. lol

[MaxPower]

Lets see if I can do it in 5 words ‘The Blood is the Life’ :)

[archer]

I know drama when i see it.

btw this thread is pretty high on the drama index whistle

[gumdrop]

LOL, indeed!

[dzinerbear]

I think most drama could be avoided if people wrote their posts, saved them but didn't post them, then looked at them again in a couple of hours to see if they really needed to say what they said.

I've sure said more than I've wanted to at times because I type faster than God and the "submit reply" button is so handy. If I had sat on the posts over night, many times I'd wake up the next morning and think, "Oh who the fuck cares?"

I think if you've got something to say, then go ahead and say it. But make sure it makes sense and that it's relevant to the discussion. And calling people idiots or worse because they don't agree with you is just bad form.

The bareback sex issue will always bring on heated discussion, and I don't think that's a bad thing or drama. It's an issue that needs to constantly be discussed in this business. And there are other issues likes it that get the boards hopping. Having a discussion about young-looking models isn't "drama," but saying that all site owners who use too-young-looking models should be shot and pissed on is.

That's my take anyway.

And by the way, we can try to avoid drama as much as we want, but it'll happen from time to time. It always does and it's unavoidable in these places. I'm sure at some point in the next year some people will leave here in a huff and tromp off somewhere else vowing never to return.

Michael

[RottenRay]

I'll use two short words:

FLAMING RESPONSES

...that having been said...


Basschick -

i've been thinking about this a lot. i'd say that board drama is when someone posts in order to create a large emotional impact rather than just to impart information. i think that board drama posters tends to make assumptions or uses abusive language because the poster is angry rather than because he/she believes what they're saying.

for example, rather than saying "did anyone else miss the last 2 checks from sponsor XYZ?" a person might post "sponsor XYZ is ripping me off!" before finding out why their checks didn't come. i've seen this one on boards a few times where it turned out the poster had the wrong zip code in their info or similar issues and wasn't getting the sponsor's email due to spam blockers.

This is a great example, although I don't think it really represents the full "drama equation" - board drama STARTS with such a post, but it takes one of us responding with the same heat to actually light the wick.

So far I think we've all acted like responsible adults, and I'm thankful that this place started with the cool-headed invitees it did.


Hothouse -

Board drama to me is people going up and back via the board on an issue and at times becoming personal too.

I agree with this whole-heartedly, with the caveat that for a board to have real life, lots of personal topix will be coming up.


Dzinerbear -

I think most drama could be avoided if people wrote their posts, saved them but didn't post them, then looked at them again in a couple of hours to see if they really needed to say what they said.

That, of course, would cut down on posts lol as many [hopefully] would realize what kind of assnine pooh they'd written and decide not to post it.


Gaydemon -

Unfortunately sometimes i think people are just fucked up. Thats not a scientific term.. but sums it up well.
Some people (more and more in society now) are "angry".

Very well put, and an apt point.

Let me amplify... Folks are doing a lot less "honest" work themselves (yard maintenance, auto maintenance, et cetera) and paying to have this done for them. Hence, we're not getting the amount of "real" exercise we did 20 years ago.

Add to this that we're all under a lot more pressure now as the cost of living spirals, technology leaps ahead, and social mores change.

It amounts to a pressure cooker, without a lot of the traditional relief valves we grew up with.

3 years ago, when I still hailed from Gilbert, Arizona, my neighbor across the street was one of the sourest, unhappiest people I've ever known. He'd bitch about the quality of the work done by the landscapers he hired, the painters he hired, the work done on his boat - and then head off to World Gym down the street to blow off steam, usually bitching about how poorly managed the place was when he got back.


Go figure...


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