RottenRay
11-10-2009, 01:36 PM
Over the weekend, I learned that my upstairs neighbor had committed suicide.
We were fairly good friends, and shared many hobbies - photography, computers, high fidelity audio equipment, and a love for certain types of antiques.
He also had the finest sense of humor - he was a master at making ribald comments in an innocuous, almost meek voice you'd never assume would come from a tall black man who was pushing 300 lbs. (One occasion I still chuckle about was the time an insurance adjuster was looking at the property for a water damage claim, and we were both helping him take measurements. When he handed the end of the tape measure to my friend and directed "against that wall," my friend's reply, almost under his breath, was "that's right, tell the black man get up against the wall." Once the adjuster figured out he was kidding, we laughed nearly until tears.)
My friend battled depression for many years, and some times it was debilitating. His doctors had changed his medication several times in the last two years, aggravated by his habit of sometimes going off his doses.
I mentioned antiques.
One of his pieces, perhaps his pride and joy, was a late 19th century upright player piano, the sort that uses punched metal discs.
Every so often, maybe once a month, he would give it a short play, usually a song or two - and, except for the last time, I would pick up the phone and call him when I heard it. Usually, we'd have a glass of white wine and shoot the breeze for a while and listen to a couple tunes.
The last time I heard the player piano was last Thursday, and I was on my way out the door so I didn't call him.
Not that it would have made any difference - I think it was merely his way of testing if I were home without actually picking up the phone and making contact, and had I called, it probably would have just put off the inevitable.
Please, I don't wish condolences on this, I merely want to pass on this advice:
If you hear the piano, make the call. It won't necessarily change how things come out in the long run, but in some cases a bit of procrastination is a good thing.
We were fairly good friends, and shared many hobbies - photography, computers, high fidelity audio equipment, and a love for certain types of antiques.
He also had the finest sense of humor - he was a master at making ribald comments in an innocuous, almost meek voice you'd never assume would come from a tall black man who was pushing 300 lbs. (One occasion I still chuckle about was the time an insurance adjuster was looking at the property for a water damage claim, and we were both helping him take measurements. When he handed the end of the tape measure to my friend and directed "against that wall," my friend's reply, almost under his breath, was "that's right, tell the black man get up against the wall." Once the adjuster figured out he was kidding, we laughed nearly until tears.)
My friend battled depression for many years, and some times it was debilitating. His doctors had changed his medication several times in the last two years, aggravated by his habit of sometimes going off his doses.
I mentioned antiques.
One of his pieces, perhaps his pride and joy, was a late 19th century upright player piano, the sort that uses punched metal discs.
Every so often, maybe once a month, he would give it a short play, usually a song or two - and, except for the last time, I would pick up the phone and call him when I heard it. Usually, we'd have a glass of white wine and shoot the breeze for a while and listen to a couple tunes.
The last time I heard the player piano was last Thursday, and I was on my way out the door so I didn't call him.
Not that it would have made any difference - I think it was merely his way of testing if I were home without actually picking up the phone and making contact, and had I called, it probably would have just put off the inevitable.
Please, I don't wish condolences on this, I merely want to pass on this advice:
If you hear the piano, make the call. It won't necessarily change how things come out in the long run, but in some cases a bit of procrastination is a good thing.